Jack.
You're quite perfect, Miss Fairfax.
Gwendolen.
Oh!
I hope I am not that.
It would leave no room for developments, and I intend to develop in many directions.
[Gwendolen and Jack sit down together in the corner.]
Lady Bracknell.
I'm sorry if we are a little late, Algernon, but I was obliged to call on dear Lady Harbury.
I hadn't been there since her poor husband's death.
I never saw a woman so altered; she looks quite twenty years younger.
And now I'll have a cup of tea, and one of those nice cucumber sandwiches you promised me.
Algernon.
Certainly, Aunt Augusta. [Goes over to tea-table.]
Lady Bracknell.
Won't you come and sit here, Gwendolen?
Gwendolen.
Thanks, mamma, I'm quite comfortable where I am.
Algernon. [Picking up empty plate in horror.] Good heavens!
Lane!
Why are there no cucumber sandwiches?
I ordered them specially.
Lane. [Gravely.] There were no cucumbers in the market this morning, sir.
I went down twice.
Algernon.
No cucumbers!
Lane.
No, sir.
Not even for ready money.
Algernon.
That will do, Lane, thank you.
Lane.
Thank you, sir. [Goes out.]
Algernon.
I am greatly distressed, Aunt Augusta, about there being no cucumbers, not even for ready money.
Lady Bracknell.
It really makes no matter, Algernon.
I had some crumpets with Lady Harbury, who seems to me to be living entirely for pleasure now.
Algernon.
I hear her hair has turned quite gold from grief.
Lady Bracknell.
It certainly has changed its colour. From what cause I, of course, cannot say. [Algernon crosses and hands tea.] Thank you.
I've quite a treat for you to-night, Algernon.
I am going to send you down with Mary Farquhar.
She is such a nice woman, and so attentive to her husband.
It's delightful to watch them.
Algernon.
I am afraid, Aunt Augusta, I shall have to give up the pleasure of dining with you to-night after all.
Lady Bracknell. [Frowning.] I hope not, Algernon.
It would put my table completely out.