Jack.
But my dear Lady Bracknell, the matter is entirely in your own hands.
The moment you consent to my marriage with Gwendolen, I will most gladly allow your nephew to form an alliance with my ward.
Lady Bracknell. [Rising and drawing herself up.] You must be quite aware that what you propose is out of the question.
Jack.
Then a passionate celibacy is all that any of us can look forward to.
Lady Bracknell.
That is not the destiny I propose for Gwendolen.
Algernon, of course, can choose for himself. [Pulls out her watch.] Come, dear,
[Gwendolen rises]
we have already missed five, if not six, trains.
To miss any more might expose us to comment on the platform.
[Enter DR. Chasuble.]
Chasuble.
Everything is quite ready for the christenings.
Lady Bracknell.
The christenings, sir!
Is not that somewhat premature?
Chasuble. [Looking rather puzzled, and pointing to Jack and Algernon.] Both these gentlemen have expressed a desire for immediate baptism.
Lady Bracknell.
At their age?
The idea is grotesque and irreligious!
Algernon, I forbid you to be baptized.
I will not hear of such excesses.
Lord Bracknell would be highly displeased if he learned that that was the way in which you wasted your time and money.
Chasuble.
Am I to understand then that there are to he no christenings at all this afternoon?
Jack.
I don't think that, as things are now, it would be of much practical value to either of us, Dr. Chasuble.
Chasuble.
I am grieved to hear such sentiments from you, Mr. Worthing.
They savour of the heretical views of the Anabaptists, views that I have completely refuted in four of my unpublished sermons.
However, as your present mood seems to be one peculiarly secular, I will return to the church at once.
Indeed, I have just been informed by the pew-opener that for the last hour and a half Miss Prism has been waiting for me in the vestry.
Lady Bracknell. [Starting.] Miss Prism!
Did I bear you mention a Miss Prism?
Chasuble.
Yes, Lady Bracknell.
I am on my way to join her.
Lady Bracknell.
Pray allow me to detain you for a moment.
This matter may prove to be one of vital importance to Lord Bracknell and myself.
Is this Miss Prism a female of repellent aspect, remotely connected with education?
Chasuble. [Somewhat indignantly.] She is the most cultivated of ladies, and the very picture of respectability.
Lady Bracknell.
It is obviously the same person.
May I ask what position she holds in your household?
Chasuble. [Severely.] I am a celibate, madam.
Jack. [Interposing.] Miss Prism, Lady Bracknell, has been for the last three years Miss Cardew's esteemed governess and valued companion.
Lady Bracknell.