Three addresses always inspire confidence, even in tradesmen.
But what proof have I of their authenticity?
Jack.
I have carefully preserved the Court Guides of the period.
They are open to your inspection, Lady Bracknell.
Lady Bracknell. [Grimly.] I have known strange errors in that publication.
Jack.
Miss Cardew's family solicitors are Messrs. Markby, Markby, and Markby.
Lady Bracknell.
Markby, Markby, and Markby?
A firm of the very highest position in their profession.
Indeed I am told that one of the Mr. Markby's is occasionally to be seen at dinner parties.
So far I am satisfied.
Jack. [Very irritably.] How extremely kind of you, Lady Bracknell!
I have also in my possession, you will be pleased to hear, certificates of Miss Cardew's birth, baptism, whooping cough, registration, vaccination, confirmation, and the measles; both the German and the English variety.
Lady Bracknell.
Ah! A life crowded with incident, I see; though perhaps somewhat too exciting for a young girl.
I am not myself in favour of premature experiences. [Rises, looks at her watch.] Gwendolen! the time approaches for our departure.
We have not a moment to lose.
As a matter of form, Mr. Worthing, I had better ask you if Miss Cardew has any little fortune?
Jack.
Oh! about a hundred and thirty thousand pounds in the Funds.
That is all.
Goodbye, Lady Bracknell.
So pleased to have seen you.
Lady Bracknell. [Sitting down again.] A moment, Mr. Worthing.
A hundred and thirty thousand pounds!
And in the Funds!
Miss Cardew seems to me a most attractive young lady, now that I look at her.
Few girls of the present day have any really solid qualities, any of the qualities that last, and improve with time.
We live, I regret to say, in an age of surfaces. [To Cecily.] Come over here, dear.
[Cecily goes across.]
Pretty child! your dress is sadly simple, and your hair seems almost as Nature might have left it.
But we can soon alter all that.
A thoroughly experienced French maid produces a really marvellous result in a very brief space of time.
I remember recommending one to young Lady Lancing, and after three months her own husband did not know her.
Jack.
And after six months nobody knew her.
Lady Bracknell. [Glares at Jack for a few moments. Then bends, with a practised smile, to Cecily.] Kindly turn round, sweet child.
[Cecily turns completely round.]
No, the side view is what I want.
[Cecily presents her profile.]
Yes, quite as I expected.
There are distinct social possibilities in your profile.
The two weak points in our age are its want of principle and its want of profile.
The chin a little higher, dear.
Style largely depends on the way the chin is worn.
They are worn very high, just at present. Algernon!
Algernon.
Yes, Aunt Augusta!