Oscar Wilde Fullscreen How important it is to be serious (1895)

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But they don't seem to know what thrift is.

Chasuble.

But is there any particular infant in whom you are interested, Mr. Worthing?

Your brother was, I believe, unmarried, was he not?

Jack.

Oh yes.

Miss Prism. [Bitterly.] People who live entirely for pleasure usually are.

Jack.

But it is not for any child, dear Doctor.

I am very fond of children.

No! the fact is, I would like to be christened myself, this afternoon, if you have nothing better to do.

Chasuble.

But surely, Mr. Worthing, you have been christened already?

Jack.

I don't remember anything about it.

Chasuble. But have you any grave doubts on the subject?

Jack.

I certainly intend to have.

Of course I don't know if the thing would bother you in any way, or if you think I am a little too old now.

Chasuble.

Not at all.

The sprinkling, and, indeed, the immersion of adults is a perfectly canonical practice.

Jack.

Immersion!

Chasuble.

You need have no apprehensions.

Sprinkling is all that is necessary, or indeed I think advisable.

Our weather is so changeable.

At what hour would you wish the ceremony performed?

Jack.

Oh, I might trot round about five if that would suit you.

Chasuble.

Perfectly, perfectly!

In fact I have two similar ceremonies to perform at that time.

A case of twins that occurred recently in one of the outlying cottages on your own estate.

Poor Jenkins the carter, a most hard-working man.

Jack.

Oh! I don't see much fun in being christened along with other babies.

It would be childish.

Would half-past five do?

Chasuble.

Admirably!

Admirably! [Takes out watch.] And now, dear Mr. Worthing, I will not intrude any longer into a house of sorrow.

I would merely beg you not to be too much bowed down by grief.

What seem to us bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.

Miss Prism.

This seems to me a blessing of an extremely obvious kind.

[Enter Cecily from the house.]

Cecily.

Uncle Jack!