Oscar Wilde Fullscreen How important it is to be serious (1895)

Pause

Algernon.

Have you told Gwendolen yet that you have an excessively pretty ward who is only just eighteen?

Jack.

Oh! one doesn't blurt these things out to people.

Cecily and Gwendolen are perfectly certain to be extremely great friends.

I'll bet you anything you like that half an hour after they have met, they will be calling each other sister.

Algernon.

Women only do that when they have called each other a lot of other things first.

Now, my dear boy, if we want to get a good table at Willis's, we really must go and dress.

Do you know it is nearly seven?

Jack. [Irritably.] Oh!

It always is nearly seven.

Algernon.

Well, I'm hungry.

Jack.

I never knew you when you weren't...

Algernon.

What shall we do after dinner?

Go to a theatre?

Jack.

Oh no! I loathe listening.

Algernon.

Well, let us go to the Club?

Jack.

Oh, no!

I hate talking.

Algernon.

Well, we might trot round to the Empire at ten?

Jack.

Oh, no! I can't bear looking at things. It is so silly.

Algernon.

Well, what shall we do?

Jack.

Nothing!

Algernon.

It is awfully hard work doing nothing.

However, I don't mind hard work where there is no definite object of any kind.

[Enter Lane.]

Lane.

Miss Fairfax.

[Enter Gwendolen.

Lane goes out.]

Algernon.

Gwendolen, upon my word!

Gwendolen.

Algy, kindly turn your back.

I have something very particular to say to Mr. Worthing.

Algernon.

Really, Gwendolen, I don't think I can allow this at all.

Gwendolen.