Oscar Wilde Fullscreen How important it is to be serious (1895)

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Jack.

Between seven and eight thousand a year.

Lady Bracknell. [Makes a note in her book.] In land, or in investments?

Jack.

In investments, chiefly.

Lady Bracknell.

That is satisfactory.

What between the duties expected of one during one's lifetime, and the duties exacted from one after one's death, land has ceased to be either a profit or a pleasure.

It gives one position, and prevents one from keeping it up.

That's all that can be said about land.

Jack.

I have a country house with some land, of course, attached to it, about fifteen hundred acres, I believe; but I don't depend on that for my real income.

In fact, as far as I can make out, the poachers are the only people who make anything out of it.

Lady Bracknell.

A country house!

How many bedrooms?

Well, that point can be cleared up afterwards.

You have a town house, I hope?

A girl with a simple, unspoiled nature, like Gwendolen, could hardly be expected to reside in the country.

Jack.

Well, I own a house in Belgrave Square, but it is let by the year to Lady Bloxham.

Of course, I can get it back whenever I like, at six months' notice.

Lady Bracknell.

Lady Bloxham?

I don't know her.

Jack.

Oh, she goes about very little.

She is a lady considerably advanced in years.

Lady Bracknell.

Ah, nowadays that is no guarantee of respectability of character.

What number in Belgrave Square?

Jack.

149.

Lady Bracknell. [Shaking her head.] The unfashionable side.

I thought there was something.

However, that could easily be altered.

Jack.

Do you mean the fashion, or the side?

Lady Bracknell. [Sternly.] Both, if necessary, I presume.

What are your polities?

Jack.

Well, I am afraid I really have none.

I am a Liberal Unionist.

Lady Bracknell.

Oh, they count as Tories.

They dine with us.

Or come in the evening, at any rate.

Now to minor matters.

Are your parents living?

Jack.