We've never had enough to eat and it's terrible to wake up hungry and go to sleep hungry.
And we haven't any warm clothes and the children are always cold and sick and--"
"Where did you get the pretty dress?"
"It's made out of Mother's curtains," she answered, too desperate to lie about this shame.
"I could stand being hungry and cold but now--now the Carpetbaggers have raised our taxes.
And the money's got to be paid right away.
And I haven't any money except one five-dollar gold piece.
I've got to have money for the taxes!
Don't you see?
If I don't pay them, I'll--we'll lose Tara and we just can't lose it!
I can't let it go!"
"Why didn't you tell me all this at first instead of preying on my susceptible heart--always weak where pretty ladies are concerned?
No, Scarlett, don't cry.
You've tried every trick except that one and I don't think I could stand it.
My feelings are already lacerated with disappointment at discovering it was my money and not my charming self you wanted."
She remembered that he frequently told bald truths about himself when he spoke mockingly--mocking himself as well as others, and she hastily looked up at him.
Were his feelings really hurt?
Did he really care about her?
Had he been on the verge of a proposal when he saw her palms?
Or had he only been leading up to another such odious proposal as he had made twice before?
If he really cared about her, perhaps she could smooth him down.
But his black eyes raked her in no lover-like way and he was laughing softly.
"I don't like your collateral.
I'm no planter.
What else have you to offer?"
Well, she had come to it at last.
Now for it!
She drew a deep breath and met his eyes squarely, all coquetry and airs gone as her spirit rushed out to grapple that which she feared most.
"I--I have myself."
"Yes?"
Her jaw line tightened to squareness and her eyes went emerald.
"You remember that night on Aunt Pitty's porch, during the siege?
You said--you said then that you wanted me."
He leaned back carelessly in his chair and looked into her tense face and his own dark face was inscrutable.
Something flickered behind his eyes but he said nothing.
"You said--you said you'd never wanted a woman as much as you wanted me.
If you still want me, you can have me.
Rhett, I'll do anything you say but, for God's sake, write me a draft for the money!
My word's good.
I swear it.
I won't go back on it.
I'll put it in writing if you like."
He looked at her oddly, still inscrutable and as she hurried on she could not tell if he were amused or repelled.
If he would only say something, anything!
She felt her cheeks getting hot.
"I have got to have the money soon, Rhett.
They'll turn us out in the road and that damned overseer of Father's will own the place and--"
"Just a minute.
What makes you think I still want you?
What makes you think you are worth three hundred dollars?