But in gloomy cliffs
Instead of praise he gets yet griefs: Alone under Finnish heavens
He’s hiking. Never, I believe, He has been bothered that I grieve.
XXXI
In hands I have Tatyana’s letter. It’s kept by me with sacred sigh.
With secret grief I read this matter, While reading cannot put aside.
By whom was tenderness inspired? - With words neglectness who’s admired?
And who inspired touching talk Which looks like madman’s hearty mock.
It’s both harmful and absorbing.
All that I don’t grasp.
Let’s read
My bad translation incomplete. Its like of picture poor copy; Or like of
«Freischutz» lovely tune {9} But played by pupils in a Fume.
Tatyana’s letter to Onegin.
I write to you - what more or other To add to all by this is said?
And now at your will is rather To punish me with scorn for that.
But if my wretched fate you rather Will grasp with pity little bit, You’ll never leave me such unfit.
At first I wished to keep it secret; Believe me: never of my shame You’d guess, as I would well behave
If I had any hope rigid Not often, mere once a week,
At you in village have a weak But look. To listen to your speaking,
A word to say, and then again To think arid think, but of the same All day and night until new meeting.
They say, you are a lone guy, In country’s stillness you are boring.
And we... with nothing can we shine, We all to see you are adoring.
What for you visited all us?
In village, in forgotten stillness Of you I’d never know, thus I wouldn’t know tortures sleepless.
Of agitated soul’s feelings
With time I’d smooth and then might be I’d find a friend to suit my soul, Would be a loyal wife on whole, And virtuous mother I would be.
Some other...
But to no person In all the world I’d give my heart,
It’s all decided (it’s my version) By heavens board: I’m yours at heart.
My life has been a pawn but fruitless Of meeting with my dear friend;
I know, you were sent by goodness, You’ll be my guard until the end,
You came to me when I was sleeping, Unseen you were to me beloved,
Your glance made languish me far love, Your voice was touching all my feeling For long... But that was not a dreamt You came, at once I got to know: Inflamed and heated I was whole.
And then I thought: He’s now in;
It’s true; to you I had boon listening, In stillness spoke. you to me
When I to wretchers was assisting Or by the prayer was releasing From stress my soul within me.
That instant I could trunk with reason
That you had come, my dear vision In darkness came for head of bed
And stilly neared me in calmness. I think its you with love and brightness Could whisper full of hopes word.
What are you: angel guardian trusty Or tempter treacherous and ghastly?
You help my doubts to resolve:
Well, may he all it is by now The fraud of innocent young girl
For changes fated anyhow...
Let it be so: you have had
In hands my fate for ever now, In front of you I tears shed: Defend my soul anyhow...
Imagine: I’m alone, thus From no man have understanding...
It seems to me, my wit is fading And silently I perish must.
I wait: with glance when you approach Some hopes give to poor heart Or heavy dream you stop by hard Alas! deserved by me reproach.
I stop!