"Then," cried I, with sudden indignation, "you want me to prostitute myself to make money for you?"
Joseph shrugged his shoulders, and said tranquilly:
"All depends on the intention, Celestine.
That is understood, is it not?"
Then he came to me, took my hands, pressed them so tightly that I screamed with pain, and stammered:
"I dream of you, Celestine; I dream of you in the little cafe.
I am crazy over you."
And, as I stood in amazement, a little frightened by this confession, and without a gesture or a word, he continued:
"And then, perhaps there are more than fifteen thousand francs. Perhaps more than eighteen thousand francs.
One never knows how many little ones this money makes.
And then, things ... things ... jewels ... you would be tremendously happy in the little cafe."
He held my waist clasped in the powerful vise of his arms. And I felt his whole body against me, trembling with desire.
If he had wished, he could have taken me and stifled me without the slightest resistance on my part.
And he continued to unfold his dream:
"A little cafe, very pretty, very clean, very shining. And then, at the bar, before a large mirror, a beautiful woman, dressed in the costume of Alsace-Lorraine, with a beautiful silk waist and broad velvet ribbons.
Hey, Celestine?
Think of that!
I will talk with you about it again one of these days; I will talk with you about it again."
I found nothing to say,—nothing, nothing, nothing.
I was stupefied by this thing, of which I had never dreamed; but I was also without hatred, without horror, of this man's cynicism.
Clasping me with the same hands that had clasped, stifled, strangled, murdered the little Claire in the woods, Joseph repeated:
"I will talk with you about it again. I am old; I am ugly. Possibly.
But to fix a woman, Celestine,—mark this well,—there is nobody like me.
I will talk with you about it again." To fix a woman! How he fills one with forebodings! Is it a threat? Is it a promise? _____
To-day Joseph has resumed his customary silence.
One would think nothing had happened last night between us.
He goes, he comes, he works, he eats, he reads his paper, just as usual.
I look at him, and I should like to detest him. I wish that his ugliness would fill me with such immense disgust as to separate me from him forever.
Well, no.
Ah! how queer it is!
This man sends shivers through me, and I feel no disgust.
And it is a frightful thing that I feel no disgust, since it was he who killed and outraged the little Claire in the woods. _____
X
November 3. Nothing gives me so much pleasure as to find in the newspapers the name of a person in whose house I have served.
This pleasure I felt this morning more keenly than ever before, in learning from the
"Petit Journal" that Victor Charrigaud has just published a new book, which has met with much approval and of which everybody speaks in admiration.
This book is entitled,
"From Five to Seven," and is a howling success.
It is, says the article, a series of brilliant and cutting society studies, which, beneath their light exterior, hide a profound philosophy. Yes, rely upon it!
At the same time that they praise Victor Charrigaud for his talent, they also compliment him highly on his elegance, on his distinguished social position, on his salon.
Ah! let us say a word of his salon.
For eight months I was the Charrigauds' chambermaid, and I really believe that I have never met such boors.
God knows, however!
Everybody is familiar with the name Victor Charrigaud.
He has already published a series of books that have made a sensation.
"Their Little Garters,"
"How They Sleep,"
"The Sentimental Bigoudis," "Humming-Birds and Parrots," are among the most celebrated.
He is a man of infinite wit, a writer of infinite talent; unhappily, success and wealth have come to him too quickly.
His beginnings aroused the greatest hopes.