I know very well that we have to defend ourselves against our masters, and I am not the last to do it, I assure you.
But no; here, all the same, that passes imagination.
These women are odious to me. I detest them, and I say to myself, in a low voice, that I have nothing in common with them.
Education, contact with stylish people, the habit of seeing beautiful things, the reading of Paul Bourget's novels, have saved me from these turpitudes.
Ah! the pretty and amusing monkey-tricks of the servants' halls in Paris,—they are far away!
As we are leaving, the grocer says to me, with an amiable smile:
"Pay no attention to the fact that your masters do not patronize me; you must come and see me again."
I go back with Rose, who finishes familiarizing me with the daily doings of the neighborhood.
I had supposed that her stock of infamies was exhausted.
Not at all.
She discovers and invents new and more frightful ones.
In the matter of calumny her resources are infinite.
And her tongue goes on forever, without stopping. It does not forget anybody or anything. It is astonishing how, in a few minutes, one can dishonor people, in the country.
Thus she escorts me back to the Priory gate. Even there she cannot make up her mind to leave me; talks on, talks incessantly, tries to envelop and stun me with her friendship and devotion.
As for me, my head is broken by all that I have heard, and the sight of the Priory fills me with a feeling of discouragement.
Ah! these broad, flowerless lawns!
And this immense building, that has the air of a barrack or a prison, and where, from behind each window, a pair of eyes seems to be spying you.
The sun is warmer, the fog has disappeared, and the view of the landscape has become clearer.
Beyond the plain, on the hills, I perceive little villages, gilded by the light, and enlivened by red roofs. The river running through the plain, yellow and green, shines here and there in silvery curves.
And a few clouds decorate the sky with their light and charming frescoes.
But I take no pleasure in the contemplation of all this.
I have now but one desire, one will, one obsession,—to flee from this sun, from this plain, from these hills, from this house, and from this fat woman, whose malicious voice hurts and tortures me.
At last she gets ready to leave me, takes my hand, and presses it affectionately in her fat fingers gloved with mittens. She says to me:
"And then, my little one, Madame Gouin, you know, is a very amiable and very clever woman. You must go to see her often."
She lingers longer, and adds more mysteriously:
"She has relieved many young girls.
As soon as they are in any trouble, they go to her. Neither seen or known.
One can trust her, take my word for it.
She is a very, very expert woman."
With eyes more brilliant, and fastening her gaze on me with a strange tenacity, she repeats:
"Very expert, and clever, and discreet.
She is the Providence of the neighborhood.
Now, my little one, do not forget to come to see us when you can.
And go often to Madame Gouin's. You will not regret it. We will see each other soon again."
She has gone.
I see her, with her rolling gait, moving away, skirting first the wall and then the hedge with her enormous person, and suddenly burying herself in a road, where she disappears. _____
I pass by Joseph, the gardener-coachman, who is raking the paths.
I think that he is going to speak to me; he does not speak to me.
He simply looks at me obliquely, with a singular expression that almost frightens me.
"Fine weather this morning, Monsieur Joseph."
Joseph grunts I know not what between his teeth. He is furious that I have allowed myself to walk in the path that he is raking.
What a queer man he is, and how ill-bred!
And why does he never say a word to me?
And why does he never answer when I speak to him? _____
In the house I find Madame by no means contented.
She gives me a very disagreeable reception, treats me very roughly:
"I beg you not to stay out so long in future."
I desire to reply, for I am vexed, irritated, unnerved.
But fortunately I restrain myself.
I confine myself to muttering a little.