"I have never seen her, but I've heard that she's lame. I heard it yesterday," I said with hurried readiness, and also in a whisper.
"I must see her, absolutely.
Could you arrange it to-day?"
I felt dreadfully sorry for her.
"That's utterly impossible, and, besides, I should not know at all how to set about it," I began persuading her. "I'll go to Shatov...."
"If you don't arrange it by to-morrow I'll go to her by myself, alone, for Mavriky Nikolaevitch has refused.
I rest all my hopes on you and I've no one else; I spoke stupidly to Shatov.... I'm sure that you are perfectly honest and perhaps ready to do anything for me, only arrange it."
I felt a passionate desire to help her in every way.
"This is what I'll do," I said, after a moment's thought. "I'll go myself to-day and will see her for sure, for sure.
I will manage so as to see her. I give you my word of honour. Only let me confide in Shatov."
"Tell him that I do desire it, and that I can't wait any longer, but that I wasn't deceiving him just now.
He went away perhaps because he's very honest and he didn't like my seeming to deceive him.
I wasn't deceiving him, I really do want to edit books and found a printing-press...."
"He is honest, very honest," I assented warmly.
"If it's not arranged by to-morrow, though, I shall go myself whatever happens, and even if every one were to know."
"I can't be with you before three o'clock to-morrow," I observed, after a moment's deliberation.
"At three o'clock then.
Then it was true what I imagined yesterday at Stepan Trofimovitch's, that you—are rather devoted to me?" she said with a smile, hurriedly pressing my hand to say good-bye, and hurrying back to the forsaken Mavriky Nikolaevitch.
I went out weighed down by my promise, and unable to understand what had happened.
I had seen a woman in real despair, not hesitating to compromise herself by confiding in a man she hardly knew.
Her womanly smile at a moment so terrible for her and her hint that she had noticed my feelings the day before sent a pang to my heart; but I felt sorry for her, very sorry—that was all!
Her secrets became at once something sacred for me, and if anyone had begun to reveal them to me now, I think I should have covered my ears, and should have refused to hear anything more.
I only had a presentiment of something... yet I was utterly at a loss to see how I could do anything.
What's more I did not even yet understand exactly what I had to arrange; an interview, but what sort of an interview?
And how could I bring them together?
My only hope was Shatov, though I could be sure that he wouldn't help me in any way.
But all the same, I hurried to him.
IV
I did not find him at home till past seven o'clock that evening.
To my surprise he had visitors with him—Alexey Nilitch, and another gentleman I hardly knew, one Shigalov, the brother of Virginsky's wife.
This gentleman must, I think, have been staying about two months in the town; I don't know where he came from. I had only heard that he had written some sort of article in a progressive Petersburg magazine.
Virginsky had introduced me casually to him in the street.
I had never in my life seen in a man's face so much despondency, gloom, and moroseness.
He looked as though he were expecting the destruction of the world, and not at some indefinite time in accordance with prophecies, which might never be fulfilled, but quite definitely, as though it were to be the day after to-morrow at twenty-five minutes past ten.
We hardly said a word to one another on that occasion, but had simply shaken hands like two conspirators.
I was most struck by his ears, which were of unnatural size, long, broad, and thick, sticking out in a peculiar way.
His gestures were slow and awkward.
If Liputin had imagined that a phalanstery might be established in our province, this gentleman certainly knew the day and the hour when it would be founded.
He made a sinister impression on me. I was the more surprised at finding him here, as Shatov was not fond of visitors.
I could hear from the stairs that they were talking very loud, all three at once, and I fancy they were disputing; but as soon as I went in, they all ceased speaking.
They were arguing, standing up, but now they all suddenly sat down, so that I had to sit down too.
There was a stupid silence that was not broken for fully three minutes.
Though Shigalov knew me, he affected not to know me, probably not from hostile feelings, but for no particular reason.
Alexey Nilitch and I bowed to one another in silence, and for some reason did not shake hands.
Shigalov began at last looking at me sternly and frowningly, with the most naive assurance that I should immediately get up and go away.
At last Shatov got up from his chair and the others jumped up at once.
They went out without saying good-bye. Shigalov only said in the doorway to Shatov, who was seeing him out:
"Remember that you are bound to give an explanation."
"Hang your explanation, and who the devil am I bound to?" said Shatov. He showed them out and fastened the door with the latch.
"Snipes!" he said, looking at me, with a sort of wry smile.