Yulia Mihailovna's drawing-room filled up quickly.
Varvara Petrovna was particularly excited, though she tried to appear indifferent, but I caught her once or twice glancing with hatred at Karmazinov and with wrath at Stepan Trofimovitch—the wrath of anticipation, the wrath of jealousy and love: if Stepan Trofimovitch had blundered this time and had let Karmazinov make him look small before every one, I believe she would have leapt up and beaten him.
I have forgotten to say that Liza too was there, and I had never seen her more radiant, carelessly light-hearted, and happy.
Mavriky Nikolaevitch was there too, of course.
In the crowd of young ladies and rather vulgar young men who made up Yulia Mihailovna's usual retinue, and among whom this vulgarity was taken for sprightliness, and cheap cynicism for wit, I noticed two or three new faces: a very obsequious Pole who was on a visit in the town; a German doctor, a sturdy old fellow who kept loudly laughing with great zest at his own wit; and lastly, a very young princeling from Petersburg like an automaton figure, with the deportment of a state dignitary and a fearfully high collar.
But it was evident that Yulia Mihailovna had a very high opinion of this visitor, and was even a little anxious of the impression her salon was making on him.
"Cher M. Karmazinov," said Stepan Trofimovitch, sitting in a picturesque pose on the sofa and suddenly beginning to lisp as daintily as Karmazinov himself, "cher M. Karmazinov, the life of a man of our time and of certain convictions, even after an interval of twenty-five years, is bound to seem monotonous..."
The German went off into a loud abrupt guffaw like a neigh, evidently imagining that Stepan Trofimovitch had said something exceedingly funny.
The latter gazed at him with studied amazement but produced no effect on him whatever.
The prince, too, looked at the German, turning head, collar and all, towards him and putting up his pince-nez, though without the slightest curiosity.
"... Is bound to seem monotonous," Stepan Trofimovitch intentionally repeated, drawling each word as deliberately and nonchalantly as possible.
"And so my life has been throughout this quarter of a century, et comme on trouve partout plus de moines que de raison, and as I am entirely of this opinion, it has come to pass that throughout this quarter of a century I..."
"C'est charmant, les moines," whispered Yulia Mihailovna, turning to Varvara Petrovna, who was sitting beside her.
Varvara Petrovna responded with a look of pride.
But Karmazinov could not stomach the success of the French phrase, and quickly and shrilly interrupted Stepan Trofimovitch.
"As for me, I am quite at rest on that score, and for the past seven years I've been settled at Karlsruhe.
And last year, when it was proposed by the town council to lay down a new water-pipe, I felt in my heart that this question of water-pipes in Karlsruhe was dearer and closer to my heart than all the questions of my precious Fatherland... in this period of so-called reform."
"I can't help sympathising, though it goes against the grain," sighed Stepan Trofimovitch, bowing his head significantly.
Yulia Mihailovna was triumphant: the conversation was becoming profound and taking a political turn.
"A drain-pipe?" the doctor inquired in a loud voice.
"A water-pipe, doctor, a water-pipe, and I positively assisted them in drawing up the plan."
The doctor went off into a deafening guffaw.
Many people followed his example, laughing in the face of the doctor, who remained unconscious of it and was highly delighted that every one was laughing.
"You must allow me to differ from you, Karmazinov," Yulia Mihailovna hastened to interpose.
"Karlsruhe is all very well, but you are fond of mystifying people, and this time we don't believe you.
What Russian writer has presented so many modern types, has brought forward so many contemporary problems, has put his finger on the most vital modern points which make up the type of the modern man of action?
You, only you, and no one else.
It's no use your assuring us of your coldness towards your own country and your ardent interest in the water-pipes of Karlsruhe.
Ha ha!"
"Yes, no doubt," lisped Karmazinov. "I have portrayed in the character of Pogozhev all the failings of the Slavophils and in the character of Nikodimov all the failings of the Westerners...."
"I say, hardly all!" Lyamshin whispered slyly.
"But I do this by the way, simply to while away the tedious hours and to satisfy the persistent demands of my fellow-countrymen."
"You are probably aware, Stepan Trofimovitch," Yulia Mihailovna went on enthusiastically, "that to-morrow we shall have the delight of hearing the charming lines... one of the last of Semyon Yakovlevitch's exquisite literary inspirations—it's called Merci.
He announces in this piece that he will write no more, that nothing in the world will induce him to, if angels from Heaven or, what's more, all the best society were to implore him to change his mind.
In fact he is laying down the pen for good, and this graceful Merci is addressed to the public in grateful acknowledgment of the constant enthusiasm with which it has for so many years greeted his unswerving loyalty to true Russian thought."
Yulia Mihailovna was at the acme of bliss.
"Yes, I shall make my farewell; I shall say my Merci and depart and there... in Karlsruhe... I shall close my eyes." Karmazinov was gradually becoming maudlin.
Like many of our great writers (and there are numbers of them amongst us), he could not resist praise, and began to be limp at once, in spite of his penetrating wit.
But I consider this is pardonable.
They say that one of our Shakespeares positively blurted out in private conversation that "we great men can't do otherwise," and so on, and, what's more, was unaware of it.
"There in Karlsruhe I shall close my eyes.
When we have done our duty, all that's left for us great men is to make haste to close our eyes without seeking a reward.
I shall do so too."
"Give me the address and I shall come to Karlsruhe to visit your tomb," said the German, laughing immoderately.
"They send corpses by rail nowadays," one of the less important young men said unexpectedly.
Lyamshin positively shrieked with delight.
Yulia Mihailovna frowned.
Nikolay Stavrogin walked in.
"Why, I was told that you were locked up?" he said aloud, addressing Stepan Trofimovitch before every one else.
"No, it was a case of unlocking," jested Stepan Trofimovitch.