As to my waiting maid's room, it is of no signification, for she has promised me not to be awake; and she is also a very good girl!
When you are going away it will be the same thing—Now we shall see whether you will come.
O, Lord! I don't know why my heart beats so while I am writing to you!
Is it the fore-runner of any misfortune, or is it the hope of seeing you that makes me thus?
This I know, I never loved you so much, and never so much wished to tell you so.
Come, then, my dear, dear friend, that I may a thousand times repeat I love you—I adore you, and never will love any but you.
I found a method to inform M. de Valmont I wanted to see him, and had something to say to him; and as he is our very good friend, will come to-morrow certainly.
I will beg of him to give you my letter immediately—That I shall expect you to-morrow night, and you will not fail to come, if you have not a mind to make your Cecilia very miserable.
Adieu, my dear friend! I embrace you with all my heart.
Paris, Dec. 4, 17—. _____
LETTER CLVII.
The CHEVALIER DANCENY to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT. _____
Doubt neither the emotions of my heart, or my proceedings, my dear Viscount—Is it possible I could resist a wish of my Cecilia's?
Ah! it is she, and she alone, I will ever love!
Her openness, her tenderness, have fixed such a spell over me, that nothing can ever efface, although I have been weak enough to suffer a distraction.
Imperceptibly, I may say, engaged in another adventure, the remembrance of Cecilia has disturbed me in the tenderest moments; and perhaps my heart never rendered her a more faithful homage, than at the instant I was unfaithful to her.
However, my dear friend, let us spare her delicacy, and hide my fault; not to deceive, but only not to afflict her.
Cecilia's happiness is the most ardent wish of my heart; and I should never forgive myself a fault which should cost her a tear.
I feel I deserved the banter you pass upon me, relative to what you call my new system: but I beg you will be assured, I am not led by them at this time; I am resolved to prove it to-morrow—I will go and accuse myself even to her who has been the cause and partner of my error—I will tell her; "read my heart; there you will see the tenderest friendship; friendship united to desire so much resembles love!
We have both been deceived; but although liable to error, I am incapable of deceit."
I know my friend well; she has probity, and is gentle; she will do more than pardon, she will approve my conduct; she has often reproached herself for having betrayed friendship: her delicacy has often alarmed her love: more considerate than me, she will strengthen my mind with those useful apprehensions which I rashly endeavoured to stifle in hers—I shall owe my reformation to her, and my felicity to you.
O, my friends! partake my gratitude: the idea of being indebted to you for my happiness, augments its value.
Adieu, my dear Viscount! the excess of my joy does not prevent me from thinking and sharing your troubles.
Why can I not serve you?
M. de Tourvel still remains inexorable then!
It is said she is very ill—May she at once recover health and condescension, and for ever make you happy!
They are the vows of friendship; and I dare hope will be granted by love.
I would write some time longer, but time presses, and perhaps Cecilia already expects me.
Paris, Dec. 5, 17—. _____
LETTER CLVIII.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL. _____
Well, Marchioness, how are you after the pleasures of last night?
Are you not a little fatigued?
You must acknowledge Danceny is a charming fellow!
That lad is a prodigy!
You did not expect such things from him; is it not true?
I must do myself justice; such a rival deserved I should be sacrificed to him.
Seriously he has a number of good qualities!
So much love, so much constancy, so much delicacy!
Ah! if ever he loves you as he does his Cecilia, you will have no occasion to dread being rivalled; he has proved it this night.
Perhaps through dint of coquetry, another woman may entice him for a short time; a young man hardly knows how to resist incitements; but you see a single word from the beloved object is sufficient to dissipate the illusion; so that there is nothing wanting to complete your happiness, but being that beloved object.
Certainly you will not be mistaken; you have such exquisite feeling it is not to be apprehended: yet the friendship that unites us, as sincere on my side as acknowledged on yours, made me wish you should experience the proof of this night; it is an effort of my zeal—It has succeeded—But no acknowledgements—it is not worth while—nothing more easy.
But to the point; what did it cost me?
Why a slight sacrifice, and a little address.
I consented to share with the young man the favours of his mistress; but he had as great a right to them as I had, and I was not in the least uneasy about them.
The letter the young creature wrote him, I dictated; but it was only to gain a little time, as we could employ it to so much better purpose.
What I wrote with it was nothing, almost nothing. Some few friendly reflections to direct the new lover; but upon honour they were useless—To tell the truth, he did not hesitate a moment.
Moreover, he is to wait on you to-day to relate all; and it certainly will give you great pleasure!
He will tell you, read my heart, so he writes me; and you see that I will settle every thing.
I hope that in reading what he pleases, you will also perhaps read, that such young lovers are dangerous—and also, that it is better to have me for a friend than an enemy.