"It means that I'm sick to death of you all and I want to be alone," Raskolnikov answered calmly.
"Alone?
When you are not able to walk, when your face is as white as a sheet and you are gasping for breath!
Idiot!...
What have you been doing in the Palais de Cristal?
Own up at once!"
"Let me go!" said Raskolnikov and tried to pass him.
This was too much for Razumihin; he gripped him firmly by the shoulder.
"Let you go?
You dare tell me to let you go?
Do you know what I'll do with you directly?
I'll pick you up, tie you up in a bundle, carry you home under my arm and lock you up!"
"Listen, Razumihin," Raskolnikov began quietly, apparently calm--"can't you see that I don't want your benevolence?
A strange desire you have to shower benefits on a man who... curses them, who feels them a burden in fact!
Why did you seek me out at the beginning of my illness?
Maybe I was very glad to die.
Didn't I tell you plainly enough to-day that you were torturing me, that I was... sick of you!
You seem to want to torture people!
I assure you that all that is seriously hindering my recovery, because it's continually irritating me.
You saw Zossimov went away just now to avoid irritating me.
You leave me alone too, for goodness' sake!
What right have you, indeed, to keep me by force?
Don't you see that I am in possession of all my faculties now?
How, how can I persuade you not to persecute me with your kindness?
I may be ungrateful, I may be mean, only let me be, for God's sake, let me be!
Let me be, let me be!"
He began calmly, gloating beforehand over the venomous phrases he was about to utter, but finished, panting for breath, in a frenzy, as he had been with Luzhin.
Razumihin stood a moment, thought and let his hand drop.
"Well, go to hell then," he said gently and thoughtfully.
"Stay," he roared, as Raskolnikov was about to move. "Listen to me.
Let me tell you, that you are all a set of babbling, posing idiots!
If you've any little trouble you brood over it like a hen over an egg.
And you are plagiarists even in that!
There isn't a sign of independent life in you!
You are made of spermaceti ointment and you've lymph in your veins instead of blood.
I don't believe in anyone of you!
In any circumstances the first thing for all of you is to be unlike a human being!
Stop!" he cried with redoubled fury, noticing that Raskolnikov was again making a movement--"hear me out!
You know I'm having a house-warming this evening, I dare say they've arrived by now, but I left my uncle there--I just ran in--to receive the guests.
And if you weren't a fool, a common fool, a perfect fool, if you were an original instead of a translation... you see, Rodya, I recognise you're a clever fellow, but you're a fool!--and if you weren't a fool you'd come round to me this evening instead of wearing out your boots in the street!
Since you have gone out, there's no help for it!
I'd give you a snug easy chair, my landlady has one... a cup of tea, company....
Or you could lie on the sofa--any way you would be with us....
Zossimov will be there too.
Will you come?"
"No."
"R-rubbish!" Razumihin shouted, out of patience. "How do you know?
You can't answer for yourself!
You don't know anything about it....
Thousands of times I've fought tooth and nail with people and run back to them afterwards....