They are an awful lot of originals.
You would split your sides laughing at them.
I know you write for the papers. Put them in your literature.
In the first place the Governor is as stupid as an old horse—"
GOVERNOR.
Impossible!
That can't be in the letter.
POSTMASTER [showing the letter].
Read for yourself.
GOVERNOR [reads].
"As an old horse."
Impossible! You put it in yourself.
POSTMASTER.
How could I?
ARTEMY.
Go on reading.
LUKA.
Go on reading.
POSTMASTER [continuing to read].
"The Governor is as stupid as an old horse—"
GOVERNOR.
Oh, the devil! He's got to read it again. As if it weren't there anyway.
POSTMASTER [continuing to read].
H'm, h'm—"an old horse.
The Postmaster is a good man, too." [Stops reading.] Well, here he's saying something improper about me, too.
GOVERNOR.
Go on—read the rest.
POSTMASTER.
What for?
GOVERNOR.
The deuce take it!
Once we have begun to read it, we must read it all.
ARTEMY.
If you will allow me, I will read it. [Puts on his eye-glasses and reads.]
"The Postmaster is just like the porter Mikheyev in our office, and the scoundrel must drink just as hard."
POSTMASTER [to the audience].
A bad boy! He ought to be given a licking. That's all.
ARTEMY [continues to read].
"The Superintendent of Char-i-i—" [Stammers.]
KOROBKIN.
Why did you stop?
ARTEMY.
The handwriting isn't clear. Besides, it's evident that he's a blackguard.
KOROBKIN.
Give it to me.
I believe my eyesight is better.
ARTEMY [refusing to give up the letter].
No. This part can be omitted. After that it's legible.
KOROBKIN.
Let me have it please. I'll see for myself.