Nikolai Gogol Fullscreen Auditor (1851)

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"Anna Andreyevna," he says,

"I am enraptured." That was the flattering way he poured out his soul. And when I was going to say, "We cannot possibly hope for such an honor," he suddenly went down on his knees, and so aristocratically!

"Anna Andreyevna," he says, "don't make me the most miserable of men. Consent to respond to my feelings, or else I'll put an end to my life."

MARYA.

Really, mamma, it was to me he said that.

ANNA.

Yes, of course—to you, too. I don't deny it.

GOVERNOR.

He even frightened us. He said he would put a bullet through his brains.

"I'll shoot myself, I'll shoot myself," he said.

MANY GUESTS.

Well, for the Lord's sake!

AMMOS.

How remarkable!

LUKA.

It must have been fate that so ordained.

ARTEMY.

Not fate, my dear friend. Fate is a turkey-hen. It was the Governor's services that brought him this piece of fortune. [Aside.] Good luck always does crawl into the mouths of swine like him.

AMMOS.

If you like, Anton Antonovich, I'll sell you the dog we were bargaining about.

GOVERNOR.

I don't care about dogs now.

AMMOS.

Well, if you don't want it, then we'll agree on some other dog.

KOROBKIN'S WIFE.

Oh, Anna Andreyevna, how happy I am over your good fortune. You can't imagine how happy I am.

KOROBKIN.

But where, may I ask, is the distinguished guest now?

I heard he had gone away for some reason or other.

GOVERNOR.

Yes, he's gone off for a day on a highly important matter.

ANNA.

To his uncle—to ask his blessing.

GOVERNOR.

To ask his blessing. But tomorrow—[He sneezes, and all burst into one exclamation of well-wishes.] Thank you very much.

But tomorrow he'll be back. [He sneezes, and is congratulated again. Above the other voices are heard those of the following.]

{CAPTAIN.

I wish you health, your Honor.

{BOBCHINSKY.

A hundred years and a sack of ducats.

{DOBCHINSKY.

May God increase it to a thousand.

{ARTEMY.

May you go to hell!

{KOROBKIN'S WIFE.

The devil take you!

GOVERNOR.

I'm very much obliged to you.

I wish you the same.

ANNA.