Nikolai Gogol Fullscreen Auditor (1851)

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Now you are crawling at my feet.

Why? Because I am on top now. But if the balance dipped the least bit your way, then you would trample me in the very dirt—you scoundrels! And you would crush me under a beam besides.

MERCHANTS [prostrating themselves].

Don't ruin us, Anton Antonovich.

GOVERNOR.

Don't ruin us!

Now you say, don't ruin us!

And what did you say before?

I could give you—[shrugging his shoulders and throwing up his hands.] Well, God forgive you. Enough.

I don't harbor malice for long. Only look out now. Be on your guard.

My daughter is going to marry, not an ordinary nobleman. Let your congratulations be—you understand? Don't try to get away with a dried sturgeon or a loaf of sugar.

Well, leave now, in God's name.

Merchants leave.

SCENE III

The same, Ammos Fiodorovich, Artemy Filippovich, then Rastakovsky.

AMMOS [in the doorway].

Are we to believe the report, Anton Antonovich? A most extraordinary piece of good fortune has befallen you, hasn't it?

ARTEMY.

I have the honor to congratulate you on your unusual good fortune.

I was glad from the bottom of my heart when I heard it. [Kisses Anna's hand.] Anna Andreyevna! [Kissing Marya's hand.] Marya Antonovna!

Rastakovsky enters.

RASTAKOVSKY. I congratulate you, Anton Antonovich.

May God give you and the new couple long life and may He grant you numerous progeny—grand-children and great-grand-children.

Anna Andreyevna! [Kissing her hand.] Marya Antonovna! [Kissing her hand.]

SCENE IV

The same, Korobkin and his Wife, Liuliukov.

KOROBKIN.

I have the honor to congratulate you, Anton Antonovich, and you, Anna Andreyevna [kissing her hand] and you Marya Antonovna [kissing her hand].

KOROBKIN'S WIFE.

I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart, Anna Andreyevna, on your new stroke of good fortune.

LIULIUKOV.

I have the honor to congratulate you, Anna Andreyevna. [Kisses her hand and turns to the audience, smacks his lips, putting on a bold front.] Marya Antonovna, I have the honor to congratulate you. [Kisses her hand and turns to the audience in the same way.]

SCENE V

A number of Guests enter.

They kiss Anna's hand saying: "Anna Andreyevna," then Marya's hand, saying

"Marya Antonovna."

Bobchinsky and Dobchinsky enter jostling each other.

BOBCHINSKY.

I have the honor to congratulate you.

DOBCHINSKY.

Anton Antonovich, I have the honor to congratulate you.

BOBCHINSKY.

On the happy event.

DOBCHINSKY.

Anna Andreyevna!

BOBCHINSKY.

Anna Andreyevna!

They bend over her hand at the same time and bump foreheads.

DOBCHINSKY.

Marya Antonovna! [Kisses her hand.] I have the honor to congratulate you.