Nikolai Gogol Fullscreen Auditor (1851)

Pause

Even the Imperial Council is afraid of me.

And really, that's the sort I am.

I don't spare anybody. I tell them all,

"I know myself, I know myself."

I am everywhere, everywhere.

I go to Court daily.

Tomorrow they are going to make me a field-marsh— He slips and almost falls, but is respectfully held up by the officials.

GOVERNOR [walks up to him trembling from top to toe and speaking with a great effort].

Your Ex-ex-ex- KHLESTAKOV [curtly].

What is it?

GOVERNOR.

Your Ex-ex-ex- KHLESTAKOV [as before].

I can't make out a thing, it's all nonsense.

GOVERNOR.

Your Ex-ex—Your 'lency—Your Excellency, wouldn't you like to rest a bit? Here's a room and everything you may need.

KHLESTAKOV.

Nonsense—rest!

However, I'm ready for a rest.

Your lunch was fine, gentlemen.

I am satisfied, I am satisfied. [Declaiming.] Labardan! Labardan! He goes into the next room followed by the Governor.

SCENE VII

The same without Khlestakov and the Governor.

BOBCHINSKY [to Dobchinsky].

There's a man for you, Piotr Ivanovich.

That's what I call a man.

I've never in my life been in the presence of so important a personage. I almost died of fright.

What do you think is his rank, Piotr Ivanovich?

DOBCHINSKY.

I think he's almost a general.

BOBCHINSKY.

And I think a general isn't worth the sole of his boots. But if he is a general, then he must be the generalissimo himself.

Did you hear how he bullies the Imperial Council?

Come, let's hurry off to Ammos Fiodorovich and Korobkin and tell them about it.

Good-by, Anna Andreyevna.

DOBCHINSKY.

Good afternoon, godmother.

Both go out.

ARTEMY.

It makes your heart sink and you don't know why.

We haven't even our uniforms on.

Suppose after he wakes up from his nap he goes and sends a report about us to St. Petersburg. [He goes out sunk in thought, with the School Inspector, both saying.] Good-by, madam.

SCENE VIII

Anna Andreyevna and Marya Antonovna.

ANNA.

Oh, how charming he is!

MARYA.

A perfect dear!

ANNA.

Such refined manners. You can recognize the big city article at once.

How he carries himself, and all that sort of thing!