The Governor and Dobchinsky sit down.
Bobchinsky looks in at the door and listens.
GOVERNOR [aside].
I must be bolder.
He wants us to pretend he is incognito.
Very well, we will talk nonsense, too. We'll pretend we haven't the least idea who he is. [Aloud.] I was going about in the performance of my duty with Piotr Ivanovich Dobchinsky here—he's a landed proprietor here—and we came to the inn to see whether the guests are properly accommodated—because I'm not like other governors, who don't care about anything. No, apart from my duty, out of pure Christian philanthropy, I wish every mortal to be decently treated. And as if to reward me for my pains, chance has afforded me this pleasant acquaintance.
KHLESTAKOV.
I, too, am delighted.
Without your aid, I confess, I should have had to stay here a long time. I didn't know how in the world to pay my bill.
GOVERNOR [aside].
Oh, yes, fib on.—Didn't know how to pay his bill! May I ask where your Honor is going?
KHLESTAKOV.
I'm going to my own village in the Government of Saratov.
GOVERNOR [aside, with an ironical expression on his face].
The Government of Saratov!
H'm, h'm! And doesn't even blush!
One must be on the qui vive with this fellow. [Aloud.] You have undertaken a great task.
They say travelling is disagreeable because of the delay in getting horses but, on the other hand, it is a diversion.
You are travelling for your own amusement, I suppose?
KHLESTAKOV.
No, my father wants me.
He's angry because so far I haven't made headway in the St. Petersburg service.
He thinks they stick the Vladimir in your buttonhole the minute you get there.
I'd like him to knock about in the government offices for a while.
GOVERNOR [aside].
How he fabricates! Dragging in his old father, too. [Aloud.] And may I ask whether you are going there to stay for long?
KHLESTAKOV.
I really don't know.
You see, my father is stubborn and stupid—an old dotard as hard as a block of wood.
I'll tell him straight out, "Do what you will, I can't live away from St. Petersburg."
Really, why should I waste my life among peasants?
Our times make different demands on us. My soul craves enlightenment.
GOVERNOR [aside].
He can spin yarns all right.
Lie after lie and never trips.
And such an ugly insignificant-looking creature, too. Why, it seems to me I could crush him with my finger nails.
But wait, I'll make you talk.
I'll make you tell me things. [Aloud.] You were quite right in your observation, that one can do nothing in a dreary out-of-the-way place.
Take this town, for instance. You lie awake nights, you work hard for your country, you don't spare yourself, and the reward? You don't know when it's coming. [He looks round the room.] This room seems rather damp.
KHLESTAKOV.
Yes, it's a dirty room. And the bugs! I've never experienced anything like them. They bite like dogs.
GOVERNOR.
You don't say! An illustrious guest like you to be subjected to such annoyance at the hands of—whom? Of vile bugs which should never have been born.
And I dare say, it's dark here, too.
KHLESTAKOV.
Yes, very gloomy.
The landlord has introduced the custom of not providing candles.
Sometimes I want to do something—read a bit, or, if the fancy strikes me, write something.—I can't. It's a dark room, yes, very dark.
GOVERNOR.
I wonder if I might be bold enough to ask you—but, no, I'm unworthy.