And he tried to think of her as she was when he met her the first time, at a railway station too, mysterious, exquisite, loving, seeking and giving happiness, and not cruelly revengeful as he remembered her on that last moment.
He tried to recall his best moments with her, but those moments were poisoned forever.
He could only think of her as triumphant, successful in her menace of a wholly useless remorse never to be effaced.
He lost all consciousness of toothache, and his face worked with sobs.
Passing twice up and down beside the baggage in silence and regaining his self-possession, he addressed Sergey Ivanovitch calmly:
"You have had no telegrams since yesterday's? Yes, driven back for a third time, but a decisive engagement expected for tomorrow."
And after talking a little more of King Milan's proclamation, and the immense effect it might have, they parted, going to their carriages on hearing the second bell.
Chapter 6
Sergey Ivanovitch had not telegraphed to his brother to send to meet him, as he did not know when he should be able to leave Moscow.
Levin was not at home when Katavasov and Sergey Ivanovitch in a fly hired at the station drove up to the steps of the Pokrovskoe house, as black as Moors from the dust of the road.
Kitty, sitting on the balcony with her father and sister, recognized her brother-in-law, and ran down to meet him.
"What a shame not to have let us know," she said, giving her hand to Sergey Ivanovitch, and putting her forehead up for him to kiss.
"We drove here capitally, and have not put you out," answered Sergey Ivanovitch. "I'm so dirty. I'm afraid to touch you.
I've been so busy, I didn't know when I should be able to tear myself away.
And so you're still as ever enjoying your peaceful, quiet happiness," he said, smiling, "out of the reach of the current in your peaceful backwater.
Here's our friend Fyodor Vassilievitch who has succeeded in getting here at last."
"But I'm not a negro, I shall look like a human being when I wash," said Katavasov in his jesting fashion, and he shook hands and smiled, his teeth flashing white in his black face.
"Kostya will be delighted.
He has gone to his settlement.
It's time he should be home."
"Busy as ever with his farming.
It really is a peaceful backwater," said Katavasov; "while we in town think of nothing but the Servian war.
Well, how does our friend look at it?
He's sure not to think like other people."
"Oh, I don't know, like everybody else," Kitty answered, a little embarrassed, looking round at Sergey Ivanovitch. "I'll send to fetch him.
Papa's staying with us.
He's only just come home from abroad."
And making arrangements to send for Levin and for the guests to wash, one in his room and the other in what had been Dolly's, and giving orders for their luncheon, Kitty ran out onto the balcony, enjoying the freedom, and rapidity of movement, of which she had been deprived during the months of her pregnancy.
"It's Sergey Ivanovitch and Katavasov, a professor," she said.
"Oh, that's a bore in this heat," said the prince.
"No, papa, he's very nice, and Kostya's very fond of him," Kitty said, with a deprecating smile, noticing the irony on her father's face.
"Oh, I didn't say anything."
"You go to them, darling," said Kitty to her sister, "and entertain them.
They saw Stiva at the station; he was quite well.
And I must run to Mitya.
As ill-luck would have it, I haven't fed him since tea.
He's awake now, and sure to be screaming." And feeling a rush of milk, she hurried to the nursery.
This was not a mere guess; her connection with the child was still so close, that she could gauge by the flow of her milk his need of food, and knew for certain he was hungry.
She knew he was crying before she reached the nursery.
And he was indeed crying.
She heard him and hastened.
But the faster she went, the louder he screamed.
It was a fine healthy scream, hungry and impatient.
"Has he been screaming long, nurse, very long?" said Kitty hurriedly, seating herself on a chair, and preparing to give the baby the breast. "But give me him quickly.
Oh, nurse, how tiresome you are! There, tie the cap afterwards, do!"
The baby's greedy scream was passing into sobs.
"But you can't manage so, ma'am," said Agafea Mihalovna, who was almost always to be found in the nursery. "He must be put straight.
A-oo! a-oo!" she chanted over him, paying no attention to the mother.
The nurse brought the baby to his mother.
Agafea Mihalovna followed him with a face dissolving with tenderness.