And it would be no good my telling her.
It would only be interesting to see Kitty, to show her how I despise everyone and everything, how nothing matters to me now."
Dolly came in with the letter.
Anna read it and handed it back in silence.
"I knew all that," she said, "and it doesn't interest me in the least."
"Oh, why so?
On the contrary, I have hopes," said Dolly, looking inquisitively at Anna.
She had never seen her in such a strangely irritable condition. "When are you going away?" she asked.
Anna, half-closing her eyes, looked straight before her and did not answer.
"Why does Kitty shrink from me?" she said, looking at the door and flushing red.
"Oh, what nonsense!
She's nursing, and things aren't going right with her, and I've been advising her....
She's delighted.
She'll be here in a minute," said Dolly awkwardly, not clever at lying. "Yes, here she is."
Hearing that Anna had called, Kitty had wanted not to appear, but Dolly persuaded her.
Rallying her forces, Kitty went in, walked up to her, blushing, and shook hands.
"I am so glad to see you," she said with a trembling voice.
Kitty had been thrown into confusion by the inward conflict between her antagonism to this bad woman and her desire to be nice to her. But as soon as she saw Anna's lovely and attractive face, all feeling of antagonism disappeared.
"I should not have been surprised if you had not cared to meet me.
I'm used to everything.
You have been ill?
Yes, you are changed," said Anna.
Kitty felt that Anna was looking at her with hostile eyes.
She ascribed this hostility to the awkward position in which Anna, who had once patronized her, must feel with her now, and she felt sorry for her.
They talked of Kitty's illness, of the baby, of Stiva, but it was obvious that nothing interested Anna.
"I came to say good-bye to you," she said, getting up.
"Oh, when are you going?"
But again not answering, Anna turned to Kitty.
"Yes, I am very glad to have seen you," she said with a smile. "I have heard so much of you from everyone, even from your husband.
He came to see me, and I liked him exceedingly," she said, unmistakably with malicious intent. "Where is he?"
"He has gone back to the country," said Kitty, blushing.
"Remember me to him, be sure you do."
"I'll be sure to!" Kitty said naively, looking compassionately into her eyes.
"So good-bye, Dolly." And kissing Dolly and shaking hands with Kitty, Anna went out hurriedly.
"She's just the same and just as charming!
She's very lovely!" said Kitty, when she was alone with her sister. "But there's something piteous about her.
Awfully piteous!"
"Yes, there's something unusual about her today," said Dolly. "When I went with her into the hall, I fancied she was almost crying."
Chapter 29
Anna got into the carriage again in an even worse frame of mind than when she set out from home.
To her previous tortures was added now that sense of mortification and of being an outcast which she had felt so distinctly on meeting Kitty.
"Where to?
Home?" asked Pyotr.
"Yes, home," she said, not even thinking now where she was going.
"How they looked at me as something dreadful, incomprehensible, and curious!
What can he be telling the other with such warmth?" she thought, staring at two men who walked by. "Can one ever tell anyone what one is feeling?
I meant to tell Dolly, and it's a good thing I didn't tell her.
How pleased she would have been at my misery!
She would have concealed it, but her chief feeling would have been delight at my being punished for the happiness she envied me for.
Kitty, she would have been even more pleased.