What will I be charged with?’
‘What the hell difference does that make?
Did you hear what he asked me?
You’re going to learn, Popinjay—the minute we finish with Clevinger you’re going to learn. Cadet Clevinger, what did—You are Cadet Clevinger, aren’t you, and not Popinjay?’ ‘Yes, sir.’ ‘Good. What did—’ ‘I’m Popinjay, sir.’
‘Popinjay, is your father a millionaire, or a member of the Senate?’
‘No, sir.’
‘Then you’re up shit creek, Popinjay, without a paddle.
He’s not a general or a high-ranking member of the Administration, is he?’
‘No, sir.’
‘That’s good.
What does your father do?’
‘He’s dead, sir.’
‘That’s very good.
You really are up the creek, Popinjay.
Is Popinjay really your name?
Just what the hell kind of a name is Popinjay anyway?
I don’t like it.’
‘It’s Popinjay’s name, sir,’ Lieutenant Scheisskopf explained.
‘Well, I don’t like it, Popinjay, and I just can’t wait to rip your stinking, cowardly body apart limb from limb.
Cadet Clevinger, will you please repeat what the hell it was you did or didn’t whisper to Yossarian late last night in the latrine?’
‘Yes, sir.
I said that you couldn’t find me guilty—’
‘We’ll take it from there.
Precisely what did you mean, Cadet Clevinger, when you said we couldn’t find you guilty?’
‘I didn’t say you couldn’t find me guilty, sir.’
‘When?’
‘When what, sir?’
‘Goddammit, are you going to start pumping me again?’
‘No, sir.
I’m sorry, sir.’
‘Then answer the question.
When didn’t you say we couldn’t find you guilty?’
‘Late last night in the latrine, sir.’
‘Is that the only time you didn’t say it?’
‘No, sir. I always didn’t say you couldn’t find me guilty, sir.
What I did say to Yossarian was—’
‘Nobody asked you what you did say to Yossarian.
We asked you what you didn’t say to him.
We’re not at all interested in what you did say to Yossarian.
Is that clear?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Then we’ll go on.
What did you say to Yossarian?’
‘I said to him, sir, that you couldn’t find me guilty of the offense with which I am charged and still be faithful to the cause of…’
‘Of what?
You’re mumbling.’
‘Stop mumbling.’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘And mumble "sir" when you do.’
‘Metcalf, you bastard!’