‘Beat me up?’
Yossarian reacted to the question with hurt surprise.
‘No, of course not.
Why do you say that?’
‘I will beat you up,’ boasted the chaplain, dancing up very close to Major Danby and shadowboxing.
‘You and Captain Black, and maybe even Corporal Whitcomb.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I found I didn’t have to be afraid of Corporal Whitcomb any more?’
‘Are you going to stop me?’ Yossarian asked Major Danby, and gazed at him steadily.
Major Danby skipped away from the chaplain and hesitated a moment longer.
‘No, of course not!’ he blurted out, and suddenly was waving both arms toward the door in a gesture of exuberant urgency.
‘Of course I won’t stop you.
Go, for God sakes, and hurry!
Do you need any money?’
‘I have some money.’
‘Well, here’s some more.’
With fervent, excited enthusiasm, Major Danby pressed a thick wad of Italian currency upon Yossarian and clasped his hand in both his own, as much to still his own trembling fingers as to give encouragement to Yossarian. ‘It must be nice to be in Sweden now,’ he observed yearningly. ‘The girls are so sweet. And the people are so advanced.’
‘Goodbye, Yossarian,’ the chaplain called.
‘And good luck.
I’ll stay here and persevere, and we’ll meet again when the fighting stops.’
‘So long, Chaplain.
Thanks, Danby.’
‘How do you feel, Yossarian?’
‘Fine.
No, I’m very frightened.’
‘That’s good,’ said Major Danby.
‘It proves you’re still alive.
It won’t be fun.’
Yossarian started out. ‘Yes it will.’
‘I mean it, Yossarian.
You’ll have to keep on your toes every minute of every day.
They’ll bend heaven and earth to catch you.’
‘I’ll keep on my toes every minute.’
‘You’ll have to jump.’
‘I’ll jump.’
‘Jump!’ Major Danby cried.
Yossarian jumped. Nately’s whore was hiding just outside the door.
The knife came down, missing him by inches, and he took off.