‘That’s too bad, Chaplain, because Colonel Cathcart knows him very well.’
Colonel Korn chuckled steadily with gloating relish for another second or two and then stopped abruptly. ‘And by the way, Padre,’ he warned coldly, poking his finger once into the chaplain’s chest. ‘The jig is up between you and Dr. Stubbs.
We know very well he sent you up here to complain today.’
‘Dr. Stubbs?’
The chaplain shook his head in baffled protest. ‘I haven’t seen Dr. Stubbs, Colonel.
I was brought here by three strange officers who took me down into the cellar without authority and questioned and insulted me.’
Colonel Korn poked the chaplain in the chest once more.
‘You know damned well Dr. Stubbs has been telling the men in his squadron they didn’t have to fly more than seventy missions.’
He laughed harshly.
‘Well, Padre, they do have to fly more than seventy missions, because we’re transferring Dr. Stubbs to the Pacific.
So adios, Padre. Adios.’
General Scheisskopf Dreedle was out, and General Peckem was in, and General Peckem had hardly moved inside General Dreedle’s office to replace him when his splendid military victory began falling to pieces around him.
‘General Scheisskopf?’ he inquired unsuspectingly of the sergeant in his new office who brought him word of the order that had come in that morning.
‘You mean Colonel Scheisskopf, don’t you?’
‘No, sir, General Scheisskopf He was promoted to general this morning, sir.’
‘Well, that’s certainly curious!
Scheisskopf? A general?
What grade?’
‘Lieutenant general, sir, and—’
‘Lieutenant general!’
‘Yes, sir, and he wants you to issue no orders to anyone in your command without first clearing them through him.’
‘Well, I’ll be damned,’ mused General Peckem with astonishment, swearing aloud for perhaps the first time in his life.
‘Cargill, did you hear that?
Scheisskopf was promoted way up to lieutenant general.
I’ll bet that promotion was intended for me and they gave it to him by mistake.’
Colonel Cargill had been rubbing his sturdy chin reflectively.
‘Why is he giving orders to us?’
General Peckem’s sleek, scrubbed, distinguished face tightened.
‘Yes, Sergeant,’ he said slowly with an uncomprehending frown. ‘Why is he issuing orders to us if he’s still in Special Services and we’re in combat operations?’
‘That’s another change that was made this morning, sir.
All combat operations are now under the jurisdiction of Special Services.
General Scheisskopf is our new commanding officer.’
General Peckem let out a sharp cry.
‘Oh, my God!’ he wailed, and all his practical composure went up in hysteria.
‘Scheisskopf in charge?
Scheisskopf?’
He pressed his fists down on his eyes with horror.
‘Cargill, get me Wintergreen!
Scheisskopf?
Not Scheisskopf!’
All phones began ringing at once.
A corporal ran in and saluted.
‘Sir, there’s a chaplain outside to see you with news of an injustice in Colonel Cathcart’s squadron.’
‘Send him away, send him away!
We’ve got enough injustices of our own.
Where’s Wintergreen?’
‘Sir, General Scheisskopf is on the phone.
He wants to speak to you at once.’
‘Tell him I haven’t arrived yet.
Good Lord!’ General Peckem screamed, as though struck by the enormity of the disaster for the first time.