It was too mixed with another consciousness—it was too smothered, as might be said, in flowers.
He really for the time regretted it—poor dear old sombre glow!
Something straight and simple, something heavy and empty, had been eclipsed in its company; something by which he had best known his friend.
Waymarsh wouldn't BE his friend, somehow, without the occasional ornament of the sacred rage, and the right to the sacred rage—inestimably precious for Strether's charity—he also seemed in a manner, and at Mrs. Pocock's elbow, to have forfeited.
Strether remembered the occasion early in their stay when on that very spot he had come out with his earnest, his ominous
"Quit it!"—and, so remembering, felt it hang by a hair that he didn't himself now utter the same note.
Waymarsh was having a good time—this was the truth that was embarrassing for him, and he was having it then and there, he was having it in Europe, he was having it under the very protection of circumstances of which he didn't in the least approve; all of which placed him in a false position, with no issue possible—none at least by the grand manner.
It was practically in the manner of any one—it was all but in poor Strether's own—that instead of taking anything up he merely made the most of having to be himself explanatory.
"I'm not leaving for the United States direct.
Mr. and Mrs. Pocock and Miss Mamie are thinking of a little trip before their own return, and we've been talking for some days past of our joining forces.
We've settled it that we do join and that we sail together the end of next month.
But we start to-morrow for Switzerland.
Mrs. Pocock wants some scenery.
She hasn't had much yet."
He was brave in his way too, keeping nothing back, confessing all there was, and only leaving Strether to make certain connexions.
"Is what Mrs. Newsome had cabled her daughter an injunction to break off short?"
The grand manner indeed at this just raised its head a little.
"I know nothing about Mrs. Newsome's cables."
Their eyes met on it with some intensity—during the few seconds of which something happened quite out of proportion to the time.
It happened that Strether, looking thus at his friend, didn't take his answer for truth—and that something more again occurred in consequence of THAT.
Yes—Waymarsh just DID know about Mrs. Newsome's cables: to what other end than that had they dined together at Bignon's?
Strether almost felt for the instant that it was to Mrs. Newsome herself the dinner had been given; and, for that matter, quite felt how she must have known about it and, as he might think, protected and consecrated it.
He had a quick blurred view of daily cables, questions, answers, signals: clear enough was his vision of the expense that, when so wound up, the lady at home was prepared to incur.
Vivid not less was his memory of what, during his long observation of her, some of her attainments of that high pitch had cost her.
Distinctly she was at the highest now, and Waymarsh, who imagined himself an independent performer, was really, forcing his fine old natural voice, an overstrained accompanist.
The whole reference of his errand seemed to mark her for Strether as by this time consentingly familiar to him, and nothing yet had so despoiled her of a special shade of consideration.
"You don't know," he asked, "whether Sarah has been directed from home to try me on the matter of my also going to Switzerland?"
"I know," said Waymarsh as manfully as possible, "nothing whatever about her private affairs; though I believe her to be acting in conformity with things that have my highest respect."
It was as manful as possible, but it was still the false note—as it had to be to convey so sorry a statement.
He knew everything, Strether more and more felt, that he thus disclaimed, and his little punishment was just in this doom to a second fib.
What falser position—given the man—could the most vindictive mind impose?
He ended by squeezing through a passage in which three months before he would certainly have stuck fast.
"Mrs Pocock will probably be ready herself to answer any enquiry you may put to her.
But," he continued, "BUT—!" He faltered on it.
"But what?
Don't put her too many?"
Waymarsh looked large, but the harm was done; he couldn't, do what he would, help looking rosy.
"Don't do anything you'll be sorry for."
It was an attenuation, Strether guessed, of something else that had been on his lips; it was a sudden drop to directness, and was thereby the voice of sincerity.
He had fallen to the supplicating note, and that immediately, for our friend, made a difference and reinstated him.
They were in communication as they had been, that first morning, in Sarah's salon and in her presence and Madame de Vionnet's; and the same recognition of a great good will was again, after all, possible.
Only the amount of response Waymarsh had then taken for granted was doubled, decupled now.
This came out when he presently said:
"Of course I needn't assure you I hope you'll come with us."
Then it was that his implications and expectations loomed up for Strether as almost pathetically gross.
The latter patted his shoulder while he thanked him, giving the go-by to the question of joining the Pococks; he expressed the joy he felt at seeing him go forth again so brave and free, and he in fact almost took leave of him on the spot.
"I shall see you again of course before you go; but I'm meanwhile much obliged to you for arranging so conveniently for what you've told me.
I shall walk up and down in the court there—dear little old court which we've each bepaced so, this last couple of months, to the tune of our flights and our drops, our hesitations and our plunges: I shall hang about there, all impatience and excitement, please let Sarah know, till she graciously presents herself.
Leave me with her without fear," he laughed;
"I assure you I shan't hurt her.