''No,'' the Colonel said, and his heart rose and he felt it choke him. ''You only told me about the ulcers.''
''Well you know now,'' the Gran Maestro said and did not finish the sentence and he smiled his best and clearest smile that came as solid as the sun rises.
''How many times?''
The Gran Maestro held up two fingers as a man might do giving odds where he had credit, and all the betting was on the nod.
''I'm ahead of you,'' the Colonel said. ''But let's not be macabre.
Ask Donna Renata if she wishes more of this excellent wine.''
''You did not tell me there were more,'' the girl said. ''You owe it to me to tell me.''
''There has been nothing since we were together last.''
''Do you think it breaks for me?
If so, I would come and simply be with you and care for you.''
''It's just a muscle,'' the Colonel said. ''Only it is the main muscle.
It works as perfectly as a Rolex Oyster Perpetual.
The trouble is you cannot send it to the Rolex representative when it goes wrong.
When it stops, you just do not know the time.
You're dead.''
''Don't please talk about it.''
''You asked me,'' the Colonel said.
''And that pitted man with the caricature face? He has no such thing?''
''Of course not,'' the Colonel told her. ''If he is a mediocre writer he will live forever.''
''But you're not a writer.
How do you know this?''
''No,'' the Colonel said. ''By the grace of God.
But I've read several books.
We have a lot of time to read when we are unmarried.
Not as much as the merchant marine maybe.
But plenty.
I can tell one writer from another and I tell you that a mediocre writer has a long span of life.
They ought to all draw longevity pay.''
''Could you tell me any anecdotes, and we stop talking about this, which is my true sorrow?''
''I can tell you hundreds of them.
All true.''
''Tell me just one.
Then we will finish this wine and then go in the gondola.''
''Do you think you will be warm enough?''
''Oh, I'm sure I will.''
''I don't know what to tell you,'' the Colonel said. ''Everything about war bores those who have not made it.
Except the tales of the liars.''
''I would like to know about the taking of Paris.''
''Why?
Because I told you that you looked like Marie Antoinette in the tumbril?''
''No.
I was complimented by that and I know we are a little alike in profile.
But I have never been in any tumbril, and I would like to hear about Paris.
When you love someone and he is your hero, you like to hear about the places and the things.''
''Please turn your head,'' the Colonel said, ''and I will tell you.
Gran Maestro is there any more in that wretched bottle?''
''No,'' the Gran Maestro answered.
''Then bring another.''
''I have one already iced.''
''Good.