Why don't you have him down for the week-end?”
“Would you like that?”
“I shan't be here.
I'm going to Veronica's.”
“You're going to Veronica's?”
“Yes, don't you remember?”
There were servants in the room so that they said nothing more until later, when they were alone in the library. Then,
“Are you really going. away?”
“Yes. I can't stay here.
You understand that, don't you?”
“Yes, of course.
I was thinking we might both go away, abroad somewhere.”
Brenda did not answer him but continued in her own line.
“I couldn't stay here.
It's all over, don't you see, our life down here.”
“Darling, what do you mean?”
“Don't ask me to explain … not just now.”
“But, Brenda, sweet, I don't understand.
We're both young. Of course we can never forget John.
He'll always be our eldest son but …”
“Don't go on Tony, please don't go on.” So Tony stopped and after a time said,
“So you're going to Veronica's tomorrow?”
“Mmmm.”
“I think I will ask Jock to come.”
“Yes, I should.”
“And we can think about plans later when we've got more used to things.”
“Yes, later.”
Next morning.
“A sweet letter from mother,” said Brenda, handing it across.
Lady St. Cloud had written:
… I shall not come down to Hetton for the funeral, but I shall be thinking of you both all the time and my dear grandson.
I shall think of you as I saw you all three, together, at Christmas.
Dear children, at a time like this only yourselves can be any help to each other.
Love is the only thing that is stronger than sorrow …
“I got a telegram from Jock,” said Tony, “he can come.”
“It's really rather embarrassing for us all, Brenda coming,” said Veronica.
“I do think she might have chucked.
I shan't in the least know what to say to her.”
Tony said to Jock, as they sat alone after dinner,
“I've been trying to understand, and I think I do now.
It's not how I feel myself but Brenda and I are quite different in lots of ways.
It's because they were strangers and didn't know John, and were never in our life here, that she wants to be with them.
That's it, don't you think?
She wants to be absolutely alone and away from everything that reminds her of what has happened … all the same I feel awful about letting her go.
I can't tell you what she was like here … quite mechanical. It's so much worse for her than it is for me, I see that.
It's so terrible not being able to do anything to help.”
Jock did not answer.
Beaver was staying at Veronica's.
Brenda said to him,
“Until Wednesday, when I thought something had happened to you, I had no idea that I loved you.”